Tips for Strengthening Your Relationship Before and After the Big Day
Change is overwhelming, even if it is a good change like getting married! With all the hustle and bustle of wedding planning, it can be easy to put your relationship on the back burner. Wedding planning can be stressful, especially if there are disagreements about how things are to be done. Then, once the big day has come and gone, you may be feeling overwhelmed with the new responsibilities you have as a husband or wife. Isn’t it funny how planning to celebrate your love can actually be a burden to your relationship? Today I want to share six tips for keeping your relationship strong, both before and after you say “I do.”
Before the wedding.
Create a financial plan that everyone feels comfortable with. Finances can be one of the biggest conflicts in your relationship, not only when trying to pay for a wedding but also after you’re married. Making a solid budget can eliminate issues before the wedding and give you good practice for budgeting together after the wedding. If your parents or future in-laws are helping you pay for the big day, make sure to include them in the financial planning so you can have a budget that everyone is happy with.
Be flexible with your fiancé’s family. Learning how to navigate relationships with in-laws can be tricky. It’s funny how you could fall in love with someone who may have been raised very differently than you! Be flexible as you learn about traditions and personalities of your future family. Creating a strong relationship now will serve you for years to come. Let your fiancé’s family have a say in the wedding planning and keep their preferences in mind.
Start having a “team mentality” early. Now is the time to start practicing living life as a team instead of two separate entities. Decisions that you make now affect someone else’s life. It’s not just the big decisions like career path and finances that you need to make together, but also simple everyday choices. Try to think of your fiancé as you make choices each day and ask yourself if the choice will add or subtract to their happiness. It’s easy to feel loved when you know your fiancé considers your well being when making choices.
After the wedding.
Prioritize time for your marriage. Be intentional about spending quality time together where you have a chance to communicate. Turn off phones and TV’s so you can focus your attention on your spouse. Be genuinely interested in your spouse’s day and what they have going on in their life. Find ways to spend time together that you both enjoy. Picking up a hobby like bowling once a week, or taking an evening walk can ensure that special time together.
Cheer each other on. Celebrate your spouse’s accomplishments and let go of jealous feelings if they arise. Remember, you’re a team! When one person achieves a goal, it helps you both. Make time to attend your husband or wife’s events, even if you aren’t interested in them. Showing up for their weekly indoor soccer games or asking about their Dungeons and Dragons tournament shows that you care and are rooting for them. Another way to cheer on your spouse is to always speak highly of them to other people, even when they aren’t around. This shows the world (and yourself) that you’ve got your spouse’s back.
Avoid mind reading. This is one of the keys to effective communication. Don’t expect your new husband or wife to know what you’re thinking or what you need. If you want help with the dishes, ask for it. Tell your spouse if you need some space to decompress after a long day of work. Also, don’t assume that you know what your husband or wife wants. It can be very frustrating when someone acts like they know what you are thinking better than you do!
Relationships take time, work, commitment, and some compromise. With each passing day, you and your partner will learn how to take care of each other. It takes a lot of practice, so be patient through the growing pains and don’t underestimate the power of a kiss!