Money talk is probably one of the hardest conversations to have with anybody, universally. Money and consumerism are such ingrained parts of our lives and even our personalities and things can get really personal, really quickly. Whether you’re talking to a friend or a family member, it’s important to have respect for one another’s viewpoints on money.

As you get married, the joining of two lifestyles can get a little tricky in a lot of ways. You two have been raised in different households and with different expectations and regards to how money is earned and how it is spent. As a wedding photographer, I’ve gotten to know many young couples going through this transition, and having gone through that transition myself through my own wedding planning and newlywed time period, I’d like to offer a few suggestions that can make things a little easier.

1 | Include money discussions when you’re talking about your future.

Before you even begin planning your wedding, when you’re just starting to discuss the possibility of a future together, don’t skip over the hard topics. Lifestyles, children, careers, and money should all be brought into consideration to determine whether you’re a good match. The point isn’t to get on the same page with the “right way” to organize finances, but rather to make sure you both can communicate respectfully and make necessary compromises for each other to get to a place where you be successful.

2 | Educate yourselves by reading books, listening to podcasts, or learning from others.

My husband and I are both pretty conservative when it comes to money and preparing for the future. We’ve always been good savers! We have found Dave Ramsey to be an incredibly helpful resource for us to learn more about what to do with our money and how to plan for future expenses and investments. We highly recommend his book Dave Ramsey’s Complete Guide to Money. Another great place to go for learning about future investments and getting on top of things is to talk to your parents (or mentors/leaders). They likely know you well enough to have a good idea of what’s to come in your future and can give you additional insight. Educating yourself will go a long way in boosting your confidence about money!

3 | Set goals for your money and refer back to them frequently.

As you’re having these money discussions, I suggest you set some goals together in terms of how your money is earned or spent. Having a common goal to work towards with another person can help you grow closer! It can also strain things if you’re not respectful of each other’s saving/spending styles and if you aren’t communicating out of love. Remember your differences of opinion and in how you grew up learning about money can help spark new insight, and don’t need to be a bad thing.

My husband and I enjoy setting saving goals that reflect something we are both excited for in the future, like saving to buy a home or putting away some money from each paycheck for travel or investment. We also love that we get to make money working together in this photography business. Think of ways you and your new spouse can be responsible together (because adulting is more fun when you can do it as a team!).

To those of you already married, what would you add to this list? How do you tackle budgeting and saving in a new or transitioning relationship?