Wedding days are for celebrating your love. It’s your big day! You’ll remember this day for the rest of your life, and of course, you want the most important people in your life to surround you in support and love on this special day. You can grant your favorites that special access by including them in your wedding party! A wedding party is defined pretty fluidly these days -- times have changed to a place where it’s less about keeping with tradition and customs and more about suiting the wedding day to YOU, the bride and groom. I thought I’d share some thoughts today about wedding parties, including all the things you didn’t know about how they’re defined in today’s culture, what role they’ll play in the big day, and how having a wedding party can enhance your entire wedding and wedding planning experience.

What is a wedding party?

Typically, the “wedding party” is made up of the bride + groom and their special guests, namely a maid of honor, best man, and bridesmaids + groomsmen. It may also include a ring bearer, flower girls, the parents on both sides, and ushers. You can define what makes sense to you. In my local area, most wedding parties include the bride and groom and a handful of bridesmaids and groomsmen, usually a total of about eight to 16 people, sometimes with a maid of honor and best man included. It’s pretty casual, but again, you can decide how you want things set up -- it IS your special day after all!

Pro tip: If you decide to include a married woman as your maid of honor, she is referred to as a matron of honor.

What purpose does a wedding party serve?

These are your people. They’re your bros and your gal pals, the people you lift you up and want to celebrate with you! For a lot of people, siblings on either side get included in the bridesmaid/groomsmen tally, but some brides and grooms opt for non-familiar relations, too! It really is totally up to you, and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.

Beyond simply being there to support you, your wedding party can be used to facilitate transitions during the event, like taking care of the rings before the ceremony, guiding guests to their tables at the dinner, holding your bouquet while you take pictures, and other sorts of helpful tasks. This should, of course, be communicated in advance of the big day so there is no confusion, but in my experience, most wedding party members, especially the bridesmaids, are eager to offer their assistance throughout the day doing all they can to make sure it is perfect for you. There is nothing wrong with asking for a little help from them, as long as they’re on board and willing!

Should I have a wedding party?

Honestly, my answer will always be “yes!” Your wedding will be about YOU no matter what, but having a group of dedicated friends to stand up with you as you are married and to smile at you when you’re nervously dancing your first dance can be a great way to bolster your spirits when the nerves set in. It’s super-duper handy to have a literal handful of hands there to fix your train or find your phone or communicate a message for you!

My biggest suggestion to you is to communicate with your fiancé. Think through who you want to have in your wedding party and make sure you’re both on the same page. There is no reason to hurt feelings in this decision: all choices and invitations should be extended out of love.

The last thing I wanted to mention is a few ways you can thank your wedding party for being there for you! Depending on your budget and local culture, you may decide to pay for everything from a gift with your invitation to your bridesmaids and groomsmen and their wedding day attire to their travel expenses and lodging the weekend of the wedding. It’s really fluid and ill-defined in today’s society which is a blessing because you can do what feels best to you and your fiancé. I think it’s super sweet to offer them a thank you gift either on the day of the wedding or when you return from your honeymoon to thank them for their love and support both before and during your wedding day. Use your wedding party as an opportunity to firm up those lifelong friendships and bonds.

Who is in the midst of wedding planning and found this helpful? Let me know what other wedding planning tips you’d find helpful -- I’d love to share!