For the bride, the wedding planning process is likely a big fulfillment of all your hopes and dreams. For the groom, it’s a big balancing act of keeping everyone happy by making decisions on things for which you don’t have a big preference. One way I’ve found to keep everyone happy is simply by inclusion.

Brides, you don’t have to let your mother-in-law make decisions for you, but I bet she’d love to show up on the big day and not be totally surprised by everything. And the same goes for the rest of your groom’s family, who is just so excited to be welcoming you into the fold! Today I wanted to share a few easy ways that you can share your wedding planning journey with your in-laws to help them feel more included as you make plans.

Send updates

When you make big decisions, like booking your venue, or deciding what sort of food you’re going to serve, send a text to those who might care! They’re pretty excited about your wedding, too, and might even be paying for some of it, so it will satisfy everyone and boost the energy surrounding the big day to know what you should be looking forward to.

Another thing you can do is send a picture of your wedding dress to your mother-in-law and sisters-in-law when you choose one! They’ll love to see what you’ve chosen and to hold it over their brother’s head how beautiful you look when he doesn’t yet get to peek.

Bring them along for the ride

Consider having some of your in-laws with you when you scope out food from different caterers or do a wedding cake taste test. This is an easy way for them to participate, but with you and your groom still getting the final say on what you choose. They will treasure their participation as a fun memory regardless!

Ask for help

You don’t have to do everything yourself! If there are some aspects of the big day that you just can’t get solved, like who is going to serve the food or what songs should be on the playlist, let your siblings-in-law take care of that! They’re not pre-occupied with all the other little minute details of the big day, and just knowing that they’re a crucial element will help them feel super involved and appreciated.

Your mother-in-law is also just begging for you to ask her opinion on the things you registered for. Trust me. Let her look over your list and suggest things to add. It’s up to you whether you include them or not, but she’ll appreciate your considerate request for her opinion.

Incorporate their special skills

Is your brother-in-law a master woodworker? Ask him to build your wedding arch! Does your fiancé’s sister have beautiful penmanship? Elicit her help in addressing invites or labeling place setting cards. Cater to your in-laws’ special talents to help them feel more included in the big day.

Spend time with them

Beyond all the wedding prep, take some time to “date” your new family. They’re a huge part of your husbands life and yours, too! One day, these will be the grandparents and aunts and uncles to your children and you’ll be closer than you can image now. Set aside time for lunch dates with the gals and game nights with the married in-laws so you can all get to know each other better. They’ll all appreciate the effort you’re making to get to know them.

What would you add to this list? Have you been on either side of these perspectives, either as the bride or groom or as the in-laws? I’d love to hear your thoughts!