Big life changes can be scary and stressful, even when they are a good change like getting married! If you are in the middle of planning a wedding, or recently married, you may be feeling the pressure and anxiety of big change. In this post, I’d like to explore ways to keep your mind focused on the big picture, rather than decision-fatigued and overwhelmed.

Before the wedding.

Stay organized. A chaotic mind is a stressed mind, and the opposite of chaos is order. Stay organized by focusing on one task at a time, making lists of things that need to be done, and by creating a budget with your fiance. A planning binder may help you keep vendors, dates, idea boards, and contracts all in one place.

Take breaks. Your wedding planning brain will become exhausted if you are constantly scrolling through design feeds and vendor profiles. Set designated days or times to work on wedding plans, and try not to think about it during work, school or free time.

Put things in perspective. When you start to feel overwhelmed, just remember why you are putting in all the hard work. In the end, it won’t matter what cake filling you choose or what the bridesmaid’s wore. What will matter is that you said “I-do” and had loved ones there to celebrate your union.

During the wedding.

Planning is over. When your wedding day finally comes, it will be too late to make any changes, so don’t stress over things that aren’t perfect. Anything that you didn’t have time to finish will have to be forgotten. Remember that the little details won’t change the big picture; you and your fiance are tying the knot!

Enjoy the day. This is your one and only wedding day, and it will fly by! Stay in the moment. You don’t want to look back and wish you had stopped worrying and just had fun. Try not to check every detail, focus on being there emotionally and mentally. Enjoy time with your friends and family who have come to celebrate with you. Remember to eat a slice of your wedding cake and dance with your grandma or grandpa, just have fun!

Plan private moments. With all the commotion going on, it can be hard to connect emotionally to your fiance. Your mind may be bogged down by the party around you! Plan enough time to have an intimate first-look before the ceremony and take ten minutes before the reception to be together and breathe.

After the wedding.

You might consider waiting a few days before leaving on the honeymoon. You may have friends and family that have traveled great distances to be at your wedding. You don’t need to feel tied to a honeymoon RIGHT after the wedding — maybe wait a day or two to spend time with your friends and family before you hop on the plane! This time will also allow you to decompress and tie up any loose ends so that you can really relax on your honeymoon.

Show love and thanks to all the people who helped you. Putting on a wedding is a huge ordeal, and there were probably many people who made it possible. Make sure to express your appreciation to them in the days and weeks after the wedding. This is especially important to do with your new in-laws so you can start the relationship out on the right foot.

Let go of disappointments. There may be things that didn’t go according to your plan. Maybe it rained, the ferry was late or the best-man’s flight was delayed and he missed the ceremony. There will always be things that are out of our control, but we should focus on the big picture and remember all the wonderful things that happened on that special day.

In the end, your wedding day is all about marrying the love of your life! As long as nothing gets in the way of saying “I do”, your wedding will be a success! You want to remember this as a time of joy, not anxiety. Following these tips will help you to enjoy the process and start out your marriage on a high note. Best wishes!