This post has been something I’ve thought about a lot as the year goes on and all the COVID-19 craziness has effected so many weddings. I’ve seen brides alter their plans by postponing their wedding, eloping, and a lot of my local Utah brides have opted for civil ceremonies until they can get sealed for eternity in the LDS templates when they open back up.

It just feels so heartbreaking to see couples who have looked forward to their wedding day for so long have to settle for alterations that take them away from their perfect, dream wedding. My wish is that things will only get more back to “normal” so that more and more brides are able to experience that excitement of seeing all their meticulous planning come to fruition on their big day.

In the meantime, I did want to share a few of my thoughts on ways brides and those getting engaged or married in the future can adjust their expectations and prepare in advance for potential changes to their wedding day plans.

Tip #1: Let go of nitpicky “necessities”

Are they really necessities, or are you just giving them that priority? For example, if something happens to your plans to your venue, then of course, that’s a necessity and that problem should be solved. Alternatively, if one of your husband’s groomsmen backed out and it’s really stressing you out to come up with a replacement simple so the number of bridesmaids matches the number of groomsmen… then maybe that’s something you can let go of. Ask yourself repeatedly about what really matters.

Tip #2: Plan back-ups

When you’re booking event venues and caterers, go into the negotiations with a few vendor options. This gives you two benefits: first, you can compare pricing and offerings to see who is a better fit for you and your wedding, and second, you will have a handy list of your preferred vendors to reference if something happens with your first pick and it won’t be as stressful to scramble to find a new one.

Tip #3: Designate a coordinator

To those who are planning a wedding with a wedding planner, coordinator, or really really on-top-of-things photographer, kudos to you! You’re already leaps and bounds ahead in the preparedness department.

If you anticipate that things outside your control may impact your wedding, consider hiring a wedding coordinator or enlisting the help of some friends to help you tackle big problems, even as they arise on the wedding day. Hair-do falling out? Grab your cosmetologist friend and a bunch of bobby pins to set it to right. Is someone from the wedding party sick and missing their cue to give a toast? Have someone there to communicate with the other speakers about changing up the order so you don’t have to hustle around in your wedding day attire with all eyes on you.

Tip #4: Reflect on the purpose behind your wedding

Of course, the main goal with all the wedding day festivities is to have a grand celebration with your friends and family, celebrating your love for each other. And I really, really want that for you! But if all else fails, the MOST important thing is that you two are married. You’re together, and you’re happily in love, and that is the most important purpose of the day. I suggest you regularly check-in with each other to remember why you’re doing this so as things unfold, not all according to plan, you can move past seeing them as “issues” and start to revel in the joy of your wedding, despite it all.